Faceboy
by Philip Mason on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 10:11pm
Faceboy by Philip Mason
Simon had just received his driver's license. A week earlier he had turned sixteen, and was looking forward to the independence he was about to gain from this age of great excitement to all teens. He was an average boy in most ways, but with lofty dreams and plans filled with great ambition. But none of the dreams or hopes for Simon's future were as immediate as his hopes involving a particular girl he went to school with at Middleton high school. More on this in just a moment...
Now that Simon had his license, his parents were making it a point to constantly remind him of his new responsibilities, and that driving his father's car was a privilege, not a right. He understood this with no difficulty. The benefit to Simon's parents in having their first born child able to drive was that Simon could now do errands for them when they wanted him to. He would regularly go get groceries for the family, or run his little sister to ice-skating practice. When all else was finished, he could take his dad's car out to hang out with his friends and do whatever he wanted to, as long as he made it home by 11 o'clock that night.
Of all of the freedom and fun Simon was experiencing with his latest inching toward adult-hood, none of it really made him as happy as the thought of taking out Abby, the girl at school he hardly knew but on whom he had an inexplicably powerful crush.
'I've got my dad's wheels, now,' he thought. 'I don't know much about Abby, but she's gotta think this is impressive.'
As if having his license and a restricted, yet generous access to his father's car granted him a magnificent dose of confidence previously unknown, Simon sat down next to Abby in the cafeteria one day. He normally sat a few tables away, with his friends, some of whom had mutual friends with Abby, but none of whom actually knew her. Abby always sat at this table with four of her friends who always showed up to lunch a little bit late.
"Hello," Simon said with barely a sign of nervousness in his voice. "I'm Simon, I think we've talked once or twice." She was the only one at the table other than him for the time being. He knew this would be his only chance to get her attention and talk to her before her friends arrived.
Abby looked at him and smiled. "Yeah... I know you," she replied with a voice barely more enchanting than Simon had remembered. "Or at least I remember talking to you that one time in class. Don't we have a class together?"
"We do, yes." Simon said. "Economics!"
Abby giggled for a moment, and asked, "so what did we talk about in class? Or do you remember?"
He explained to her that he couldn't remember what it was they had talked about that one day in class, which he found a little embarrassing. His memory of the event had more to do with how happy he felt that he was sitting next to Abby at the time, and she was actually talking to him. He didn't tell her this, though. He did his best to come off as apathetic about the event as possible, but was unable to keep himself from appearing as interested in their current discussion as he was. And very interested, and excited, he was.
The two talked for a few more minutes and hit it off better than Simon had expected them to. Abby's friends showed up, and Simon got up to go back to the table with his friends. Abby said he could stay. On the inside he jumped for joy, but on the outside he said "oh, alright." He sat down.
Simon became good friends with Abby over the next few weeks, and his crush on her only strengthened as he spent more time with her.
Simon would regularly take his father's car out at night to do nothing in particular other than just drive and think. On one night not much unlike any other night Simon took the car out to drive around. He thought about calling up Abby so he could meet up with her. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her. After all, it was this feeling that made him talk to her in the first place. Though he didn't expect her to feel the same, he felt that he had to let her know. He drove a little longer.
After a few more minutes of driving and thinking, Simon decided against telling Abby anything. 'I'm more sure of rejection right now than I've ever been before,' he thought. 'I can usually cope with that, but this rejection would also destroy our friendship which seems to be going so well. I can't do this. I don't think it's fair to Abby.' He called her up, anyway, and they hung out for a couple hours. He refrained from telling her anything about how he felt. He knew it was definitely the wrong time, the wrong place, and that in his case, he was the wrong guy to be telling her "I am in love with you!"
Around 10:30 Simon dropped Abby off at her home, and headed back to his own house. He thought about what a good idea it was that he didn't say anything. Their night had been fun enough, and he was happy he didn't spoil it with awkward babbling on about feelings and emotions and unwelcome romantic thoughts. This was a friendship, for crying out loud! Simon's perpetual insecurities would continue to convince him that his decisions were perfectly acceptable.
On the final stretch of highway to his neighborhood, Simon noticed a car coming his way, but driving in his lane. Its lights were on, and the car was swerving dangerously, unpredictably. It quickly came closer, and Simon had to swerve to avoid a possibly deadly collision with this car. In doing so, Simon's car went off the side of the road and smashed into a row of trees, sending the car flipping and tumbling down the hill...
Three days later, Simon awoke in the hospital. It was the middle of the night, and his parents were both there by his side.
"Simon", his father said, bending down to face him. "Can you hear me?"
Simon looked at his father and found he couldn't speak. He had no memory of what happened or how he got where he was. He slowly nodded at his father.
His mother was in tears, and she touched his face, though he couldn't feel it. He looked at her, and couldn't say a word.
A doctor and a nurse came into his room to tell him about what had happened. It was here that Simon learned that in the wreck which had occurred three nights earlier, he was thrown from the car and had been in a minor coma for the last few days. The doctor informed Simon that his face had been severely damaged, and his parents had decided for him to undergo reconstructive surgery as soon as possible. Simon was still unable to talk and unable to show any response to this information in any way. He wanted to scream, to cry, to get up and run away. He could do nothing, though.
Simon remained in the hospital for the next week, and was given a mirror to see his face. His jaw had been destroyed, all of his facial features had been distorted and seemingly destroyed, erased, and replaced with what he found to be horrible caricatures of reality. He was devastated and was so overcome with grief and sadness that he was unable to do anything.
Simon's friends wrote him letters and sent gifts to him in the hospital. He received a letter from Abby. In it she told him she was so happy he was still alive, and she couldn't wait to come visit him. She said she hoped that he would recover soon. Despite the uplifting and positive news, Simon's heart sank. 'I can't see Abby. This is the last thing I need... that would destroy me. I can't let her see what has happened to me.'
He then lapsed into a deep depression as thoughts raced through his mind. 'I should have told her how I felt back when I had the chance,' he thought. 'I am at the point now where I can't go on and NOT tell her, after something like this has almost ended my life. But I can't tell her in this state. I'll never be fixed. My face will never be the same. When I tell her now the rejection is not only going to be unbearable, but it will be cold and bitter... It will be salt in the wounds. When my face was MY face it was at least something she knew, and was familiar with. It was something she was comfortable with. Now I've got nothing. Now I'm disfigured and when Abby sees me all I will have from her is sympathy and her feeling sorry for me. Nothing will be the same...'
Simon was released from the hospital, having asked that none of his friends be allowed in to see him. He didn't wish to see anyone except his parents until he was ready for them to see his new face. He returned to school and was met with applause and a showering of gifts and praise and welcoming. His disfigured face was a shock to most, but it was treated as if it were normal, not out of the ordinary at all. Abby was there, and came up to hug Simon. She looked him in his eyes, and had tears in hers.
'So this is how she looks at me now,' Simon thought. He didn't know what to say. He was now capable of talking, but had no words to give to anyone.
When the crowd had calmed and Simon was given room to breath, he walked off. That night, sitting at home, he decided he finally had to end his burden. He picked up his phone and called Abby. She answered, and without giving her a moment to get a word in, Simon told her how he had always felt about her. He told her that he had been crazy about her since the moment he got to know her. He told her he could never stop thinking about her and that he was in love with her. He told her that he had always feared the rejection before, knowing he was not good enough for her, and so had never said anything. And he then explained that after his accident, his physical disfigurement made him see that he should have faced that rejection earlier instead of later, so as to get the emotional turmoil out of the way before the physical. He explained that he knew it was too late for that, and that he now needed to get the emotional turmoil flared up in just the same way as the physical, because it was all he had left. He said that the inner turmoil was too intense for him any longer, and he knew that though he now faced rejection even more assuredly than ever before, he had to get it out. It was about time.
There was silence on the other end. Abby said nothing for a few moments. Simon informed her that he was done, and had nothing more to say. He then quietly apologized for creating this sudden awkwardness, but said that it was important to him. He heard Abby breathing on the other end, and without waiting for a response, hung up his phone.
A second later his phone rang, and it was Abby. He answered.
"I love you, too," she said. "I've always loved you, Simon. Since the day you sat next to me in the cafeteria I knew there was something about you. Your accident and the injuries to your face don't change that.... It's not your face that I love, but you. Your face is just the physical embodiment of you, and the changes in your face don't change who you are. You are the person I love. "
To make what could be a very long story just a bit shorter, Simon and Abby were both in love with each other and, despite Simon's damaged looks and shattered confidence, Abby found him to be the person she loved more than anything or anyone in the world.
They were married 8 years later. They lived long together. They grew old together.
THE END.
Simon had just received his driver's license. A week earlier he had turned sixteen, and was looking forward to the independence he was about to gain from this age of great excitement to all teens. He was an average boy in most ways, but with lofty dreams and plans filled with great ambition. But none of the dreams or hopes for Simon's future were as immediate as his hopes involving a particular girl he went to school with at Middleton high school. More on this in just a moment...
Now that Simon had his license, his parents were making it a point to constantly remind him of his new responsibilities, and that driving his father's car was a privilege, not a right. He understood this with no difficulty. The benefit to Simon's parents in having their first born child able to drive was that Simon could now do errands for them when they wanted him to. He would regularly go get groceries for the family, or run his little sister to ice-skating practice. When all else was finished, he could take his dad's car out to hang out with his friends and do whatever he wanted to, as long as he made it home by 11 o'clock that night.
Of all of the freedom and fun Simon was experiencing with his latest inching toward adult-hood, none of it really made him as happy as the thought of taking out Abby, the girl at school he hardly knew but on whom he had an inexplicably powerful crush.
'I've got my dad's wheels, now,' he thought. 'I don't know much about Abby, but she's gotta think this is impressive.'
As if having his license and a restricted, yet generous access to his father's car granted him a magnificent dose of confidence previously unknown, Simon sat down next to Abby in the cafeteria one day. He normally sat a few tables away, with his friends, some of whom had mutual friends with Abby, but none of whom actually knew her. Abby always sat at this table with four of her friends who always showed up to lunch a little bit late.
"Hello," Simon said with barely a sign of nervousness in his voice. "I'm Simon, I think we've talked once or twice." She was the only one at the table other than him for the time being. He knew this would be his only chance to get her attention and talk to her before her friends arrived.
Abby looked at him and smiled. "Yeah... I know you," she replied with a voice barely more enchanting than Simon had remembered. "Or at least I remember talking to you that one time in class. Don't we have a class together?"
"We do, yes." Simon said. "Economics!"
Abby giggled for a moment, and asked, "so what did we talk about in class? Or do you remember?"
He explained to her that he couldn't remember what it was they had talked about that one day in class, which he found a little embarrassing. His memory of the event had more to do with how happy he felt that he was sitting next to Abby at the time, and she was actually talking to him. He didn't tell her this, though. He did his best to come off as apathetic about the event as possible, but was unable to keep himself from appearing as interested in their current discussion as he was. And very interested, and excited, he was.
The two talked for a few more minutes and hit it off better than Simon had expected them to. Abby's friends showed up, and Simon got up to go back to the table with his friends. Abby said he could stay. On the inside he jumped for joy, but on the outside he said "oh, alright." He sat down.
Simon became good friends with Abby over the next few weeks, and his crush on her only strengthened as he spent more time with her.
Simon would regularly take his father's car out at night to do nothing in particular other than just drive and think. On one night not much unlike any other night Simon took the car out to drive around. He thought about calling up Abby so he could meet up with her. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her. After all, it was this feeling that made him talk to her in the first place. Though he didn't expect her to feel the same, he felt that he had to let her know. He drove a little longer.
After a few more minutes of driving and thinking, Simon decided against telling Abby anything. 'I'm more sure of rejection right now than I've ever been before,' he thought. 'I can usually cope with that, but this rejection would also destroy our friendship which seems to be going so well. I can't do this. I don't think it's fair to Abby.' He called her up, anyway, and they hung out for a couple hours. He refrained from telling her anything about how he felt. He knew it was definitely the wrong time, the wrong place, and that in his case, he was the wrong guy to be telling her "I am in love with you!"
Around 10:30 Simon dropped Abby off at her home, and headed back to his own house. He thought about what a good idea it was that he didn't say anything. Their night had been fun enough, and he was happy he didn't spoil it with awkward babbling on about feelings and emotions and unwelcome romantic thoughts. This was a friendship, for crying out loud! Simon's perpetual insecurities would continue to convince him that his decisions were perfectly acceptable.
On the final stretch of highway to his neighborhood, Simon noticed a car coming his way, but driving in his lane. Its lights were on, and the car was swerving dangerously, unpredictably. It quickly came closer, and Simon had to swerve to avoid a possibly deadly collision with this car. In doing so, Simon's car went off the side of the road and smashed into a row of trees, sending the car flipping and tumbling down the hill...
Three days later, Simon awoke in the hospital. It was the middle of the night, and his parents were both there by his side.
"Simon", his father said, bending down to face him. "Can you hear me?"
Simon looked at his father and found he couldn't speak. He had no memory of what happened or how he got where he was. He slowly nodded at his father.
His mother was in tears, and she touched his face, though he couldn't feel it. He looked at her, and couldn't say a word.
A doctor and a nurse came into his room to tell him about what had happened. It was here that Simon learned that in the wreck which had occurred three nights earlier, he was thrown from the car and had been in a minor coma for the last few days. The doctor informed Simon that his face had been severely damaged, and his parents had decided for him to undergo reconstructive surgery as soon as possible. Simon was still unable to talk and unable to show any response to this information in any way. He wanted to scream, to cry, to get up and run away. He could do nothing, though.
Simon remained in the hospital for the next week, and was given a mirror to see his face. His jaw had been destroyed, all of his facial features had been distorted and seemingly destroyed, erased, and replaced with what he found to be horrible caricatures of reality. He was devastated and was so overcome with grief and sadness that he was unable to do anything.
Simon's friends wrote him letters and sent gifts to him in the hospital. He received a letter from Abby. In it she told him she was so happy he was still alive, and she couldn't wait to come visit him. She said she hoped that he would recover soon. Despite the uplifting and positive news, Simon's heart sank. 'I can't see Abby. This is the last thing I need... that would destroy me. I can't let her see what has happened to me.'
He then lapsed into a deep depression as thoughts raced through his mind. 'I should have told her how I felt back when I had the chance,' he thought. 'I am at the point now where I can't go on and NOT tell her, after something like this has almost ended my life. But I can't tell her in this state. I'll never be fixed. My face will never be the same. When I tell her now the rejection is not only going to be unbearable, but it will be cold and bitter... It will be salt in the wounds. When my face was MY face it was at least something she knew, and was familiar with. It was something she was comfortable with. Now I've got nothing. Now I'm disfigured and when Abby sees me all I will have from her is sympathy and her feeling sorry for me. Nothing will be the same...'
Simon was released from the hospital, having asked that none of his friends be allowed in to see him. He didn't wish to see anyone except his parents until he was ready for them to see his new face. He returned to school and was met with applause and a showering of gifts and praise and welcoming. His disfigured face was a shock to most, but it was treated as if it were normal, not out of the ordinary at all. Abby was there, and came up to hug Simon. She looked him in his eyes, and had tears in hers.
'So this is how she looks at me now,' Simon thought. He didn't know what to say. He was now capable of talking, but had no words to give to anyone.
When the crowd had calmed and Simon was given room to breath, he walked off. That night, sitting at home, he decided he finally had to end his burden. He picked up his phone and called Abby. She answered, and without giving her a moment to get a word in, Simon told her how he had always felt about her. He told her that he had been crazy about her since the moment he got to know her. He told her he could never stop thinking about her and that he was in love with her. He told her that he had always feared the rejection before, knowing he was not good enough for her, and so had never said anything. And he then explained that after his accident, his physical disfigurement made him see that he should have faced that rejection earlier instead of later, so as to get the emotional turmoil out of the way before the physical. He explained that he knew it was too late for that, and that he now needed to get the emotional turmoil flared up in just the same way as the physical, because it was all he had left. He said that the inner turmoil was too intense for him any longer, and he knew that though he now faced rejection even more assuredly than ever before, he had to get it out. It was about time.
There was silence on the other end. Abby said nothing for a few moments. Simon informed her that he was done, and had nothing more to say. He then quietly apologized for creating this sudden awkwardness, but said that it was important to him. He heard Abby breathing on the other end, and without waiting for a response, hung up his phone.
A second later his phone rang, and it was Abby. He answered.
"I love you, too," she said. "I've always loved you, Simon. Since the day you sat next to me in the cafeteria I knew there was something about you. Your accident and the injuries to your face don't change that.... It's not your face that I love, but you. Your face is just the physical embodiment of you, and the changes in your face don't change who you are. You are the person I love. "
To make what could be a very long story just a bit shorter, Simon and Abby were both in love with each other and, despite Simon's damaged looks and shattered confidence, Abby found him to be the person she loved more than anything or anyone in the world.
They were married 8 years later. They lived long together. They grew old together.
THE END.
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